07.11
MESSAGE FROM OUTER SPACE
ALIENS CONTACT NASA: "QUIT SENDING US YOUR STUPID JUNK"
WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - History was changed forever yesterday when
NASA received a transmission from an alien species. The brief
message, addressed to "abuse@NASA.gov," read simply:
Humans --
Please discontinue sending stupid unsolicited transmissions
and debris to us. We have received several metallic craft
bearing objects, crude drawings, and disks which play noises
when scratched with crystal-tipped needles. We don't know
who "Bach" is, but tell him for us that he should consider
another profession. Honestly, we receive thousands of
unsolicited transmissions and craft from societies such as
yourself to the point where they become a great nuisance,
so discontinue this practice immediately or we will be forced
to report you to your information provider or, more simply,
blow up your stupid planet and all your stupid life-forms.
Send your junk to the Gezor -- they have all the class and
intelligence of stewed clazin.
Regards,
Elinzoa Glppaducc
Information Processing Coordinator
The Shati-Makal
NASA immediately cancelled plans to send up a time capsule
containing a CD of the Ricky Martin hit, "Livin' La Vida Loca",
and a VHS copy of "Friends."
ALIENS CONTACT NASA: "QUIT SENDING US YOUR STUPID JUNK"
WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - History was changed forever yesterday when
NASA received a transmission from an alien species. The brief
message, addressed to "abuse@NASA.gov," read simply:
Humans --
Please discontinue sending stupid unsolicited transmissions
and debris to us. We have received several metallic craft
bearing objects, crude drawings, and disks which play noises
when scratched with crystal-tipped needles. We don't know
who "Bach" is, but tell him for us that he should consider
another profession. Honestly, we receive thousands of
unsolicited transmissions and craft from societies such as
yourself to the point where they become a great nuisance,
so discontinue this practice immediately or we will be forced
to report you to your information provider or, more simply,
blow up your stupid planet and all your stupid life-forms.
Send your junk to the Gezor -- they have all the class and
intelligence of stewed clazin.
Regards,
Elinzoa Glppaducc
Information Processing Coordinator
The Shati-Makal
NASA immediately cancelled plans to send up a time capsule
containing a CD of the Ricky Martin hit, "Livin' La Vida Loca",
and a VHS copy of "Friends."
